Princess Pure
by Ksiezniczka
Summary: [crack!pairing TronXAlice] She wasn't a princess. Not really. She wasn't pure, either. Just homesick. And being in the computer didn't help. Jeez this summary sucks. Ooooweeeoooo


**Crack. Experimental. Super-Special-Awesome, or just Lame Sauce? Please don't ask why the heck I wrote this. I wanted to write some Kingdom Hearts crack – leave me alone! And remember, boys and girls, crack is GOOD for you, as long as it isn't marijuana! (I'm straight edge 'til I DIE, yo!) On another note entirely, why is my PC making those strange noises? O.o**

**If I owned Kingdom Hearts, "Atlantis" would be a level. So I obviously don't own it. You know what? "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" would be a level too. And "Labyrinth", as Disney bought out Jim Henson company and it would be awesome sauce. Oh! Oh! "Tron" would be a level too! Oh, wait…**

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"Doesn't the fact that this world is so shiny ever bother you?" she asked the strange male next to her. When he didn't answer, she continued, "Because it's making my head hurt."

"No," he finally answered, kissing her hand lightly, "it doesn't bother me at all, _princess_." He put extra emphasis on the last word. She wasn't sure whether or not he had meant it sarcastically. It upset her just the same.

"So it does speak," she muttered, then sighed and sat down. "Why, of all places, did King Mickey hide me in a computer?"

"You already know why he hid you from Organization XIII. I imagine that after being stuck in such a nonsensical place for so long that a thing as logical as a computer must be strange to you."

"Wonderland is NOT strange!" she exclaimed defensively. Not even flinching, Tron glanced over at the girl coolly.

"It's only temporary. Do not worry so much," his tone of voice shocked the girl. It was almost… tender… loving…

_Computers cannot be tender. It isn't natural._

She nervously twirled her blond hair between her fingers – she was not easily trusting, especially of males.

"It isn't fair," she muttered.

"Don't I know it," he muttered as well, taking her by surprise. The tone of his voice implied that he had not intended her to hear this comment. Timidly, she bowed her head slightly. Had he been human, this show of respect may have surprised him. Again, he merely glanced at her calmly.

"At any rate, it's rather cold inside this computer. It's much warmer at home. I'd risk being turned Heartless any day if it meant going home," she scowled. Why couldn't she have been hidden back in England?

"Nobody is holding you captive, _Princess_," Tron reminded the girl. "You did not have to agree with King Mickey. It is natural that you are frightened, but I will never understand why Users feel the need to express their fears in the form of anger and prefer you not do so towards me."

She was taken aback. And then, she turned away so sharply that her hair whipped around, slapping his face almost as if she had intended it.

_He is so rude! I know he's a computer, but would it kill him to at leas act as if he had emotions?_

Alice was quite surprised about what happened next:

"I am truly sorry that I offended you, Pri – Alice. Really, Programs and Users aren't all that different. I'm still a little… upset… over Yori's choice."

She turned to see him bowing to her and blushed.

_You don't have to do that! I'm not even a real princess!_

"Um… Yori's… choice…?"

"Yes," He looked up at her, smirking. "Yori. She was what you Users would call my girlfriend. She was also what a lot of Users call a flirt. And she eventually left me. First for Flynn, but shortly after for Dumont."

"And you reprimanded me for lashing out," she glared, not caring to know who the heck Yori, Flynn, or Dumont even were. Then she turned away again. "And just so you know, I'm not a princess."

"…Very well. I am truly sorry, Alice."

All was silent in the world of Space Paranoids before he noticed something strange about the blonde User girl in the odd blue garment. If that was armour, it certainly didn't protect much. She was… shaking…

"Alice?" he inquired.

"I'm… sorry…" she said quietly. It was barely audible. He noted that her voice was shaking too.

"You do not need to apologise to me. I'm well aware that – " he trailed off when she turned around to face him. Liquid was dripping out of her eyes. Did Users usually leak? Tron didn't have any information about leaking Users in his data. But he could tell by the look in her blue eyes that this leaking was caused by unpleasant User emotions. Like what he'd felt when he'd found out Yori had kissed Flynn.

Rather than look down at her feet pitifully as was "proper", Alice glared up defiantly, letting the tears stream down her face. She didn't know why she was crying. But she had been through more than enough this… day? Week? Month? How long had it even been since she'd seen England?

_I really am sorry for lashing out at you. But I'm homesick. I miss my parents, my sisters, my nurse, my cat Dinah, Mr. Dodgson… And then you made it so much worse by calling me princess…_

"I'm not a princess," she tearfully confessed.

"You are a Princess of Heart."

"But that title is so misleading. I'm not royalty! I'm not pure, even! I'm just… Alice…"

"You are pure, even if you weren't born into a royal family. According to my data, 'Princess of Heart' is just a term used for young ladies who are entirely pure of heart."

"But I'm not pure. I'm not a thing like the other girls. They're so voluptuous and beautiful, patient, kind, and excellent singers," she sobbed. "I'm a crybaby and impatient. I always lose my temper. I'm not rich; I'm rather plain and common. And I know I'm not pretty."

"Alice, you look fine."

"Oh, but I don't! I'm not pretty at all. I'm the type they call 'witty'."

"But you know," Tron grabbed her arms protectively, "some prefer witty and intelligent girls."

-_fin_-

**Go ahead and flame if you want. It's just crack. I was bored.**


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